Reinvention: Figuring Out Who You Will Be

This is the third post in a series about reinventing yourself — all based on real life experience.

In Part 1, Getting Unstuck, I outlined six steps toward reinventing yourself. #6 is a technique that will get you closer to figuring out who you want to be:

Focus less on who you want to be, and more on who you don’t want to be.

Reinventing yourself is not easy. It’s not something that happens overnight, nor is it a process that is completed on a deadline. It’s not a cut and dried process that begins one day and ends the next.

Two years ago when I was struggling to be the person I wanted to be, I decided that the best way to start was to begin with who I didn’t want to be. Here’s my list from back then:

  • Someone who is thoughtless and says unkind things
  • Someone who is oblivious to others’ hurts and needs
  • Someone who is impatient and gets angry about stupid stuff, or things that should be forgotten
  • Someone whose ego and insecurities get in the way of her true self

Have I eliminated doing all those things? Well certainly not all the time. But I can say that these days I am much more likely to stop and breathe, remember who I don’t want to be, and move forward in a more positive way.

Here are a couple more things I have added to that list since then:

  • Someone who is stressed by work and so loses sight of what is really important
  • Someone who allows herself to be defined by career, instead of who she really is
  • Someone whose major goals in life revolve around the goals of her job

Please hear me — I believe wholeheartedly that career can play an important role in feeling fulfilled and whole. For many people (including me) it is a vital piece of the puzzle.

But I’ve also seen a career (or some other aspect of life) not only take up most of the hours in one’s life, but also an incredible amount of emotional space and ultimately one’s well-being.

For me, the realization that I no longer wanted to be the person I had become came in mid-life; and it was a bona-fide crises. It often happens that way…but not always.

Researcher, author, and storyteller Brene Brown explains,

“People may call what happens at midlife ‘a crisis,’ but it’s not. It’s an unraveling — a time when you feel a desperate pull to live the life you want to live, not the one you’re ‘supposed’ to live. The unraveling is a time when you are challenged by the universe to let go of who you think you are supposed to be and to embrace who you are.”

If you’re starting to feel that pull — the one that says “this is NOT who I am supposed to be”, then don’t wait!  Make your list and start exploring. It’s never to late to make a change.

It’s never too late to be that person you are meant to be.

Photo :: Source

Click below to read:
Part 1 – Getting Unstuck ~ 6 Steps to Reinventing Yourself
Part 2 – Reinvention: 6 Steps to Change

About Laura Harbolt

Laura's passion is helping women succeed in small business. With years of sales and teaching experience she will help you create a meaningful business so you can make money and make a difference.


  1. So true. When I coach clients I encourage them to make a “I want to be list”. It is much more empowering and sets in motion the law of attraction. Letting go of the “shoulds” in your life encourages to look at and live a more authentic and meaningful life!

    • I love that you do that, Jenn! It’s funny how we can know intellectually who we want and don’t want to be. The hard part is believing with our heart as well.